I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize