Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are the jesus of drinking
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
