Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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