Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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