Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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