Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize