I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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