how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
