Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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