They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize