Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just crazy horny about you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
