you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
