im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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