ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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