and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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