I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
my poor anus
Randomize
