I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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