I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
