Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
