Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
