Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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