you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
