Kiss
Puke
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
