I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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