idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
