My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
