Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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