My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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