It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize