its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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