Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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