She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
