I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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