Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Congratulations! We have a period
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
