Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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