Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
