After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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