i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize