Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize