this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
