i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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