so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No subtext here. People are naked.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
