quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
