A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We had sex on a dog bed..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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