Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
