i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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