ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
