Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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