I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
