Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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