New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
