I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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