i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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