he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
