I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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