my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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