Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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