he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
